a day of epiphanies

do you ever have those moments when you suddenly have a thought and you just think it's the best idea in the entire world & everyone should know about it? today I was walking around asu, where it was only about 100 degrees, but still felt so unbelievably hot that I was walking 5 times slower than I really should have been. then I remembered that in boston they have these little tunnels that go under the schools that really come in handy when it's snowing &  negative 3472 degrees outside. so, why can't arizona state have these tunnels? AIR CONDITIONED TUNNELS THAT GO UNDER THE SCHOOL WHERE YOU CAN ESCAPE THE HEAT BUT STILL GET TO CLASS. why not?! of course, asu being the great little place it is only costs an arm and a leg, and air conditioning these little tunnels would cost them a hefty penny, but why not just charge an arm, leg, and first born child to fund these tunnels? then no more sunburn, dehydration, or melted shoes. brilliant?!

I'm sure you've also noticed that there are a lot of people on the road, not only in Arizona but everywhere, that should not have a driver's license or even a high school diploma. blatantly, these people are dumb. they drive 30 mph on the freeway, stop 800 feet before a stop light, leave their blinker on for fifteen minutes after they merge. it's ANNOYING and obviously dangerous. so, you know that nifty little test we all have to pass to get our license that basically only requires us to know how to spell our names and start a car? why not add a little IQ test to this license test so we can ensure that the people populating our roads are not entirely inept. yes?

other epiphanies I had today include that I should not eat two chocolate chip waffles smothered in syrup for breakfast because although they're full of sugar, my body, which is used to healthy foods, will be destined to crash from low blood sugar. this will only force me to dash out of my italian class and run across campus to jamba juice where I have a small episode concerning a pretzel. episode as follows:

me: Can I have a sixteen ounce razzmatazz with a soy protein boost, and also one of those cinnamon apple pretzels?

jamba man: sure. do you want that pretzel heated up?

me (clearly very pale and shaking so badly I can barely open my wallet): no thank you, I just want it now.

jamba man: are you sure? we can heat it up.

me: no, I just want it now.

jamba man: okay, but I can heat it up. [jamba man walks away, leaving me at the register, pretzeless]

jamba lady ( taking wrapper off straw and putting it in my smoothie at painstakingly slow pace): razzmatazz for lauren

me (quickly grabbing smoothie and drinking for 3 straight minutes): THANK YOU 

[jamba man continues to meander around behind the counter as I stare at the pretzels in their case. jamba man slowly realizes I need my pretzel. He opens the wrong door to the pretzel case twice, then finally reaches in the get the pretzel.]

jamba man: are you sure you don't want this heated up?

me: no, thank you

jamba man: are you sure? it's kind of cold.

me (getting frustrated): i'm sure.

jamba man: I can heat it up really quick right here.

me: I JUST WANT THE PRETZEL

[I rush out of jamba juice and realize the pretzel is almost frozen solid. sweet.]

I also had another epiphany today, but the pretzel story took a lot out of me so I can't remember what it was. yay for two jersey shores this week!!

cheers,

lauren