you just might find, you get what you need

i always catch the clock, it's 11:11, but cayla and i make wishes that are too predictable.

people are always really excited when they find out that i go to asu, but as soon as i tell them i'm an english literature major they get a look that's a mix of disappointment and confusion. english literature? so you read books... and then what? it's frustrating that people think than an english major can only be used to be a teacher, and if i don't stand up in front of poorly behaved children for six hours a day trying to cram the elements of handwriting down their throats i'll be living on the streets. sometimes i think it would almost be worth seeing the look of surprise on the persons face to follow the imminent "oh, what do you want to do with that?" question with, oh you know, some writing here and there, but mostly just living in a small apartment where i can decide which bills to pay each month until i can marry someone rich enough to support me. little do these housewives, who probably have been out of college for a good fifteen years, know, that i have endless possibilities in front of me and plan to take advantage of every single one of them. no, i'm not going to be a neuroanatomist because i don't want the three am phone calls for emergency surgery, the constant stress, or the money. why should i dedicate my entire life to a career that will give me nothing in return? you can enjoy a job and truly love it, but ultimately it will give you one thing: money. money necessary for survival in the way that the world has become today, but money that will only provide you with the shell of a shelter and pretty, empty things to fill it with. growing up and going to a high school overflowing with students stuffed to the gills with more money than they knew what to do with, i have never been more sure of anything when i say that money will not make you happy. it's the most cliche saying ever, but people spend their entire lives in a quest for dollars and cents that always leave them empty handed. beautiful houses, shiny cars, pretty paintings and rugs will not give you the warm, loving feeling that a family does. this is a broken record of what a million have said before me, but it is just my attempt to justify why i'm not desperate to get the highest paying degree and land a job with a huge, domineering company right after graduation. as long as i'm happy, i don't want the money and beautiful houses and shiny cars.

it's such a nice day outside but i'm stuck inside writing an essay (for my english class). three pages down, seven to go..

cheers,

lauren